girl, guess what

Jane was walking along Main Street when she saw him. 

She recognizes Michael’s back because she’s so used to third wheeling with him and Maria that she knows his back better than her own. With that being said, Jane also knows Maria’s back just as well, so who is this little bimbo holding Michael’s hand? 

Oh hell no. 

Jane whips out her phone to dial up Maria and begins to follow Michael and the bimbo. 

“Girl, guess what?” Jane whispers so she doesn’t attract attention

“Bitch what?” Jane can tell Maria’s at home because she can hear Grey’s Anatomy and the rustling of a bag of chips (probably Takis) in the background. Maria is gonna have to get her ass over on Main Street real quick so she better slow down on the Takis. 

“I’m on Main Street and I see Michael” Jane tries to keep her distance but is still trying to identify miss bimbo. 

“Okay so? I trust my man. He can have a life,” Maria replied, brushing off Jane. 

“Okay so he won’t have a life after what I’m about to tell you” 

“What do you mean?” Maria asked, suddenly serious. 

“Michael is holding some girl’s hand” Jane cranes her neck so she can tell Maria who it is. The infidels turn the corner from Main Street onto Third and Jane gets a clear view of the bimbo’s face. 

Her stomach drops. 

How could Jane not recognize her own sister’s back instantly? 

“Um never mind April Fools I made a mistake it’s not actually Michael! Ha-ha! okay bye!” Jane nervously rushes off the phone and as she hangs up she can hear Maria talk hysterically. Sisters of best friends are technically best friend in laws. Jane would beat any bitches ass for Maria, but Alex ass? Sure Alice was a bitch but Jane can’t go against blood. But Alex is literally biblically wrong! Jane can’t go against the Ten Commandments! 

Jane runs up behind Alex. She’s not afraid of her little sister, she can say whatever she wants. 

“Um, Alex, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jane grabs Alex’s arm and turns her around. She looks up and points a finger in Michael’s face. “And you. You little piece of shit!” 

“Jane, I can explain! I’ve been meaning to break up with Maria for a while now. Your sister is-”

“You’ve been meaning to WHAT?” Michael, Jane, and Alex turn around to a fuming Maria, her face twisted with anger. That’s when Maria begins to shove Michael and Alex. Alex and Maria shouting at each other. Maria slapping and grabbing Michael by the hair. Normally Jane would jump in, but again, to against blood? As the situation escalates, Jane is overwhelmed with nausea.

“Aren’t you going to help me?” Alex shouts at Jane. 

“Help you? You stole MY boyfriend!” Maria lunges for Alex but Alex fights back. 

“It’s not stealing if he doesn’t wanna be with you!” 

Yo, fuck this shit. Amid the shouting, slapping, and betrayal of loyalty, there’s only one thing Jane could do. The world begins to spin, the street and buildings go blurry, and her knees give out. All Jane could do was faint.